Edwin Charles Tobergta, the man arrested in June for fucking a pool raft in front of children, also fucked a pumpkin, it was revealed in court.

Tobgerta's sentencing this week to 11 months in jail for his romp with a pool raft included a brief history of Tobgerta's previous relationships. Apparently, in 2002, he had sex with a pumpkin that was part of a Halloween display. The presiding judge called Togberta's sexual exploits "lewd," and "something society's not going to tolerate." Society has already tolerated Togberta getting caught having sex with a pool raft five previous times however.


Apparently, it all started with his love of pumpkins. It's a gateway gourd.

"I do want to apologize for my actions, I'm sorry," Togberta told the court at his sentencing. "I'm ready to get my life together and quit all this nonsense."


Love whatever you want to love, Edwin. Just keep it away from the kids.