• The reports from New Year's in Miami are predictable: Lohan hospitalized, Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler fight over Mr. Bongjangles, Vin Diesel acts hetero, and Nicole Richie awkwardly poses for "promotional purposes" with ex-fiancé DJ AM. What, exactly, were they promoting? The dangers of celebrity engagements? [Page Six]
• Enrique Iglesias spent New Year's entertaining the sons of Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafy, but the feds were too busy tapping your phone line to notice. [R&M]
• Cutbacks at the Times leads to the close of the nurse's office. Alas, no more Snoopy band-aids for Punch. [Page Six]
• After calling in Kabbalah ghostbusters to cleanse her "haunted" London home, Gwyneth Paltrow is diagnosed as officially retarded. [Scoop]
• Amanda Peet flips off a smiley fan in the East Village. Just like any native New Yorker would, really. [Lowdown]

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