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The Envelope's Oscar Beat blog is reporting that Jon Stewart is the Academy's Chosen One, and that an announcement heralding The Daily Show host's appointment as emcee of Hollywood's Most Self-Important Night will likely follow tomorrow. Stewart's selection was reportedly arrived at following a marathon sit-down between high-level Gay and Jewish Mafias officials in a secure basement conference room at David Geffen's Malibu compound; the fabulous faction stubbornly threw its support behind movie star/respected song-and-dance man Hugh Jackman for the gig, but after a personal audition by Jackman featuring a musical Brokeback Mountain parody fell flat, the Velvets finally acquiesced and gave their approval to the safer choice of the universally loved Stewart.