Once upon a time, in a magical land called Florida, a drunk young woman entered a sex shop, applied for a job, left all of her contact information with the store manager, and then stole a vibrator and hid it in her pants. Really.

According to police, LeAnn Frauens, 23, went to the Intimate Treasures store in Crestview to apply for a job on Oct. 29. After Frauens left the store, the manager noticed an Evolved "Short & Sweet" vibrator was missing from its display. The waterproof, true multispeed, 100% European Silicone, maximum intensity with minimum noise vibrator had been attached to the display by a plastic ring connected to a cord, but "due to the nature of the devices," the plastic ring could be easily slid off. And slide off it did, right into the front of Frauen's pants.

But there was security footage of the event, and the manager had Frauen's address and phone number, so it wasn't hard for police to locate the woman at her house the next afternoon. An ashamed and surprised Frauens retrieved the Short & Sweet and turned it over to a police officer, who noticed the device "appeared to have been used and not cleaned." The Short & No Longer Sweet was submitted to evidence and an embarrassed Frauens, who said she was too drunk to remember her night at Intimate Treasures, was transported to Okaloosa County Jail.

She was released on $100 bond, which is enough money to buy almost two $59.95 Short & Sweets from the Florida store. At the current Amazon price of $30.08, she could have purchased three. But thanks to the item's popularity, there's now just one left in stock at Amazon. And until more arrive, it appears only one person gets to live happily ever after.


[h/t The Smoking Gun, image via Shutterstock]