Odds are that either you or someone you know was a victim of the studios' year-end layoff fad. But with a new year comes new hope for gainful employment, courtesy of the cyber-headhunters of Craigslist:
Assistant to Producer & Celebrity
There are three jobs available for this listing. 1. Assistant to Celebrity 2. Assistant to Celebrity producing partner 3. Office assitant for production company
Steamroller Productions is seeking experienced full-time assistant. Candidate will deal directly with actors, travel for production, and learn all aspects of movie making. This a busy office with heavy phones, scheduling, and travel arranggement. Ideal candidate must be extremely responsible, organized, self disciplined, and able to multi task. Wonderful opportunity for right person. Great opportunity to move up quickly in the entertainment business. Email a picuture and resume to firstname.lastname@example.org or fax them to 310-xxx-xxxx. no calls please.
* Job location is Los Angeles
* Compensation: above $600 per week.
For those of you who haven't decoded the mind-melting clue offered by the picture above, Steamroller Productions is onetime action star/current semitoxic energy beverage mogul Steven Seagal's company. Before you tear up that last unemployment check, sure that all your Hollywood dreams are about to come true at rate of "above $600 per week," ask yourself a tough question: Which tastes better, the Ramen noodles slowly boiling on the hotplate in your studio apartment, or what passes for craft service on the Romanian set of the straight-to-video classic Hard to Kill 2: Somewhat Harder to Kill?
Oh, and we wouldn't read too much into the part where you have to submit a picture; they just want to make sure that you're not an obviously deranged maniac. Or, you know, a dude.