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Poor Star Jones. She finally nets herself a man, someone who can see past her unconventional looks to her inner non-beauty, and what happens? He's dogged with gay rumors, founded on utterly circumstantial evidence like being spotted on the gay part of Fire Island and at all-male Halloween parties dressed in a Speedo. Well, enough is enough! In her upcoming memoir, Shine, Jones attacks the issue head on, extolling husband Al Reynold's superhetero bedroom prowess:

"The first time he held me in his arms sexually, it was almost frightening because we knew our erotic interest in each other could take over every other thing," Star writes breathlessly. "We had an intoxicatingly sexual connection the first two months of our relationship." [...]

"It wasn't an easy decision," recalls Star. "Al is a beautiful man. He's got the legs of a stallion. He'd be a perfect Ralph Lauren model." [...]

"One day, we would read in the press that Al was out gallivanting with a bunch of women," Star writes. "The next day, we'd read a story questioning his sexuality. I remember my husband saying to me, 'Baby, what am I today?' And me answering, 'Just who you were yesterday, baby.'"

We have to hand it to Star that was a ballsy response. Answering your partner's sexual identity query with an answer like "Just who you were yesterday" immediately opens you up to answers you might not want to hear; for example, "A gender illusionist hanging from the Roxy disco ball and lipsynching flawlessly to Grace Jones' Slave to the Rhythm, baby?"