Jan 9, 2006 03:54 PM
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We were as surprised as you were to find Smokey the Bear advertising on Gawker today. "Only you can prevent wildfires," he's warning us gravely, expertly tugging our heartstrings with what appears to be a picture of soon-to-be-incinerated Bambi. Is there really a big problem with Gawker readers starting wildfires? Could we even start wildfires? One imagines wildfires require wilderness, which — as someone might inform the Forest Service — is in short supply in Manhattan. Indeed, we can think of any number of more useful PSA campaigns for folks like us:
• Only you can prevent cigarette fires.
• Only you can prevent accidental ODs.
• Only you can prevent dangling modifiers.
• Only you can prevent workplace productivity.
• Only you can prevent Arthur Carter from growing bored with the Observer.
• Only you can prevent the meatpacking district.
• Only you can prevent navy blue and black.
• Only you can prevent Krucoff from finding steady employment.
• Only you can prevent fanny packs.
• Only you can prevent banquette dancing.
• Only you can prevent white after Labor Day.
• Only you can prevent Maer Roshan from spending another two years "searching for funding."
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