Short Ends: Stern's First F'Ing Day On Satellite

·, online home to the naughtiness measuring Howard Stern Shockulator, tallied 68 f-bombs, 34 assholes, 17 cocks, and 10 cunts in Stern's first day on the job at Sirius. Eh, that shouldn't be too hard to top by the end of the week.
· Just so that you know, Billy Crystal says he was offered the Oscar hosting gig before Jon Stewart. He'd hate for you to think that the Academy got its first choice.
· Brad Pitt does sort of look like a monkey, though they probably could've dug up more compelling photo pairs if they spent a couple of more minutes on searching images on Google.
· While we languish at our regular keyboard all day, our buddies at Jalopnik are running amok at the Detroit Auto Show, and Fleshbot is recovering from a weekend at the AVN pornopalooza in Vegas.
· We just can't believe in any edgy writers anymore, can we? Tomorrow's news will probably unmask Dana Delaney as the true author of Bruce Wagner's novels.
· And is Macaulay Culkin writing his own books? God, we hope so.