Bush-era U.S. diplomat, U.N. hater and Iraq war-lover John Bolton had a terrible trip to "Manila Philippines" last weekend, but if you can front him "($2,550.00 USD )," he'll totally get out of this fix.

Unnamed friends of the Bush administration stalwart received this email from his account on Tuesday, Foreign Policy reports:

Poor John got his email hacked, obvs. How do we know? Because

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1) We're pretty sure he wouldn't travel to the Philippines—at least, not with his family;

2) Fox News probably doesn't have a backdrop of Parliament and Big Ben in its Manila studio; and

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3) Wait an American lord of war has an AOL ACCOUNT? We're never making fun of Team Obama's Blackberries again.

[Photo credit: AP]