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Put down that bagel and coffee. You're going to want to read this on any empty stomach:

the roumors are true. the video is here.
watch Colin fuck playboy bunny Nicole Narain.

Lapses in copy editing aside, the Colin Farrell sex tape, whose existence was first announced back in July, has finally arrived. boldly claims "Colin tried to stop us from showing you this...Well, here it is anyways," but how exactly the site's proprietors have circumvented the small problem of Farrell's consent is unclear. (Our three years of celebrity sex tape law school make us think that either 1) the video is completely illegal [or fake] or 2) they somehow quietly obtained Farrell's permission for its release.) We haven't actually plugged $14.99 worth of quarters into the virtual video booth, but the sample stills of the apparently Daredevil-era (read: pre-rehab and Miami Vice manboobs) Farrell and his onetime sex bunny are already seared onto parts of our brain we'd hoped to use one day for less psychically distressing purposes.

UPDATE: Caveat emptor, sickies: A reader writes in to warn us that he paid for the video, but couldn't download it or get it to play, so you might be better served resisting the uncontrollable desire to watch Colin Farrell enjoying a vigorous round of coitus. And we've noticed that the site's been inaccessible for a while anyway, casting further doubt about the whole thing's legitimacy.