JRM Gobsmacked By Scarlett's Lady-Bazzers!

It's a proven fact: Even the least consequential gossip item becomes 200 percent more enjoyable when slathered in a healthy coat of inscrutable British slang. Take MegaStar's version of a story about Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers' flirty on-set relationship while shooting Match Point, in which we learned at least two new euphemisms for breasts, we think:

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers may play a well-bred nice guy in Woody Allen's iffy London flick, Match Point. But the pretty boy actor let the mask of decency slip a bit when confronted by co-star Scarlett Johansson's sauce-shelf on set. And Rhys-Meyers shows himself as a right jack-the-lad when it comes to spilling forth about the film's bedroom-based shenanigans.

Pray tell, sunshine.

"It was easy work doing the sex scenes, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't," whispered the one-time Bend It Like Beckham bloke, as told by Ananova.

Reports say Scarlett asked Rhys-Meyers not to cop a gawp at her lady-bazzers but, hey, what's a man to do?

If you still have no idea what they're talking about, the more American-friendly translation by the UK Mirror follows:

MATCH Point star Jonathan Rhys-Meyers has revealed that bashful co-star Scarlett Johansson, 21, banned him from looking at her breasts during filming of the movie's love scenes - but he did anyway.

The 28-year-old Irish actor told the show Unscripted: "I remember [Scarlett] telling me not to look at her tits. And I was trying to be a gentleman and sort of asking for a glimpse.

"But I did sneak a peek - I couldn't help it, they were in my face." And it'll come as no surprise that Jonathan had no problem "acting" his part as Scarlett's lover in the Woody Allen film.

One thing is certain: whether they're referred to as "tits," "lady-bazzers," or our new personal favorite, "sauce shelf," the tabloid career of Johansson's rack is just getting started. God bless the Queens.