This weekend, we learned of two separate robberies attempted by a bunch of men with terrible ideas about what to do while stealing somebody's shit. Here is how not to commit a crime.
On Saturday in Los Angeles, four men broke into a home at 2:40 a.m. in the city's Lincoln Heights neighborhood. Their first mistake was picking a house that had a surveillance system installed. Before the burglars were able to make off with anything, police and SWAT units had already arrived. One suspect fled the home and was immediately apprehended. This was another mistake. Two others were then trapped in the home, and their plan for escape was to force the sole resident to tell the police they were victims, too. The resident, at gunpoint presumably, tied the two men up. This was the biggest mistake.
With those two men bound together and the fourth hiding in the backyard, the resident left the home and was met by police. He or she informed the cops that two men were sitting in the house pretending to be victims. The police then waited for the two to get tired of waiting and exit the house. They did and were arrested. The fourth was sniffed out by a canine. This was an obscenely awful plan.
It might have been the worst planned robbery of the year if not for the case of the unnamed Bay Area man you see above. In August, he mugged a woman and stole her phone. This weekend, Oakland police released the selfie he took with the phone. Fucking millenials, man.
[image via Oakland police]