In a development that can only be described as shocking as well as startling, a proposed Noah's Ark Theme Park in Kentucky is having some financing problems. Do we have an investment idea for you!
See, the original proposal went something like: "Hello, we are a nonprofit group named after Genesis (Bible version), and we wanna build a 'biblical theme park called Ark Encounter' right here in beautiful Kentucky, including 'a 510-foot wooden ship.' Would you like to invest millions of dollars in this project? Buy some of these bonds we are issuing, which are unrated, due to the fact that you would have to be very holy to buy them."
This initial sales pitch successfully sold $26.5 million in bonds.
Alas, they now need to sell another $29 million in bonds or the whole project is going to fail, despite the implicit endorsement of god himself. So hey, want to do something wacky? Buy some bonds, to finance a Noah's Ark theme park, in Kentucky! You will never do anything wilder than that. Jesus Christ personally guarantees it.
Also if you are one of the original purchasers of the $26.5 million in unrated bonds that this project did sell, please email Hamilton@Gawker.com at once so that I may conduct an interview with you in which I maintain an almost unbearably incredulous tone throughout.