Paris Hilton's Yellow Cab Ride

Not a day after a deposition revealed that gasp! Paris Hilton may not be the sharpest stiletto in the walk-in closet, comes this report that the Feel Good Party Heiress of the Year has her flacks tap dancing in triple time trying to quash a story about her pulling a Fergie in the back of a Hawaiian cab:

Paris Hilton's publicists are frantically trying to silence a Hawaiian taxi driver who claims the sexy blond socialite urinated in his cab.


Harden Jamison tells the National Enquirer that the hotel heiress and Simple Life star was way too drunk to notice that she had wet herself when he picked her and boyfriend Stavros Niarchos up after a party on the island of Maui.

The disgusted and grossed out cab driver claims he mopped up the mess [...] with a towel and plans to use Hilton's DNA as evidence against her in court.

Jamison has gone public with the story after allegedly getting threatened by Hilton heavies, who 'went for a ride' in his cab, after making it known that he posesses [sic] a towel drenched with the hotel heiress's urine.

We hope this wisely opportunistic cab driver held on for dear life to the smoking gun (or, more specifically, steaming rag) evidence. The stinky schmata will not only prove he's telling the truth, but will also fetch him a handsome sum on eBay, probably from the entrepreneurial spirit out there who has already clued into the high-profit possibilities of a Paris Hilton museum in Las Vegas.