From the website that brought you Man with Two Fully Functional Penises comes the Man with No Functional Ass Crack.
Most likely inspired by his well-endowed antithesis to come forward, Redditor TBoneTheOriginal took to the subreddit /r/MildlyInteresting over the weekend to share his personal anatomical anomaly.
"I think this is a little more than 'mildly' interesting. What's the reason?" asked a fellow Redditor. Responded TBone:
This happened because of severe pilonidal cysts. I've had multiple surgeries on it, and instead of the usual procedure which involves letting it heal, mine was so bad that a plastic surgeon had to close it up. But they keep coming back, and it'll probably just get worse as I age.
To answer a couple questions: My butthole looks the same as anyone else's! The wound just goes very close to it. Trust me, you don't want to see it. Second, I poop like anyone else. Just gotta be careful with wiping so I don't get feces in the wound. But it isn't hard after having to do it for 8 years now.
In an impromptu AMA conducted simultaneously on both MildlyInteresting and its more hardcore sibling /r/WTF, TBone went on to answer the foremost question on everyone's mind: Has the last of an ass crack modified the sound of his farts.
"Not at all," he responded. "Still perfect pitch."