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In this edition of the Stalker: Anderson Cooper, Natalie Portman, David Bowie, the Real David Cross, two more disturbing Natasha Lyon sightings, Paul Rudd, Harvey Weinstein, Arthur Sulzberger, Martha Stewart, Daniel Day Lewis, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, Danny Masterson, Julianna Margulies, Russell Simmons, Matt Dillon, Keri Russell, Elizabeth Berkeley, Gemma Ward, Antonio Banderas, Kelly Ripa, Anh Duong, the Strokes, ex NJ Governor James McGreevy, Tony Danza and Liza Minelli, and one beloved reader's frighteningly intimate character study of model Lizzie Jagger.

Saw Anderson Cooper around 8 pm earlier tonight (Tue Night) walking south on 6th Ave and 23rd street attached to his cell phone. My friend and I were wondering if he should be getting back to CNN soon as his show is an hour away to air. Maybe they tape it?

1/24 saw Natalie Portman at the Whole Foods at Union Square. Very petite and naturally pretty. Looks like Natalie and her friends bought quite a feast perhaps they re going to have a dinner party? She hailed a taxi with friends and jumped in with their food.

Was having bunch on Sunday at August on Bleecker and 10th. When I turned to get the waiters attention, who did I see sitting directly behind me? The Thin White Duke himself, David Bowie. Very normal looking, dining with a 30-something blonde.

Saturday, 1/21/06, I saw David Cross (the really real one) at a toga party at Union Pool in Williamsburg. The toga party was held in the recently-madeover back room, where the bartenders (are possibly required to?) wear a shirt and tie. It's the same place that held a benefit the other week to stop the further gentrification of the neighborhood.

I saw Natasha Lyonne on 14th between 2nd and 3rd at about 7pm. She was walking and eating a hot dog and was wearing ripped dark clothing. At first I didn't recognize her b/c she currently weighs about 90 lbs at most and had sores/scabs all over her face especially near the nose area - but since she was so out of it I decided to move closer to her and confirmed.

I can hardly believe it but I'm pretty certain I saw Natasha Lyonne yesterday at Duane Reade on 34th and 5th Ave. I wouldn't have noticed her but she was startled by a security guard trying to get ahead of her. Not to be blunt but there is no other way to put it she looked like a homeless crack whore. She was extremely thin, and her clothes were hanging off of her, had sores all over her face, was wearing a cap but it looked as if she was balding. Someone needs to get this girl in rehab- stat.

On my way home from dinner with a friend last night I was lighting a cig. As my head came up with cig in tow I came face to face with Paul Rudd. We were close enough to kiss, but that unfortunately did not happen. The Clueless cutie wasn t phased by my space invasion. He kept puffing away on his own cancer stick while standing under the Pluck U sign on 9th. He is very short in person, standing at about 5 6 , but still looks good all the same.

Around 6PM on Monday, Harvey Weinstein was walking around Bergdorf Goodman's. He checked out the new BG Restaurant on the seventh floor of the women's store.

My first time doing this. Yesterday late afternoon (Sun. 1/22) in Central Park at the top of the Rambles, NYT Publisher Arthur Sulzberger walked by, smoking a stogie, while walking with a male companion. Mr. Sulz has quite a full head of gray hair. At one point they hugged each other (but not in the way I think one is supposed to in the Rambles.)

I spotted a bed-headed Martha Stewart brunching it up at Pastis on Saturday 1/21, accompanied by a man in his 20s or 30s and a woman closer to Martha's age. Martha seriously looked like a comb hadn't touched her hair in days. You know how when you wake up and your hair is like a rat's nest in the back? She had that.

I wandered into Myoptics on Prince St to straighten out my glasses just now and there was Daniel Day Lewis leaning against the counter. He is hot! He was accompanying a younger, scruffy chap who made a purchase. The cute young woman helping them seemed noticeably distracted and self-conscious of the way she was stapling receipts together. He said nothing and did nothing the whole time. For a second I thought I was at Mme Tussaud's but then he walked out.

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward must be on a culture kick, because they went to "A Trip to Bountiful" at the Signature Theater last week. They were absolutely elegant, although we did notice that Paul put on a hearing aid just before the show started. Also, saw Lou Reed yesterday in front of that monstrous new building on St. Marks and Lafayette. The older he gets, the more he looks like Mick Jagger.

Saw Danny Masterson crossing the street on Delancey and Orchard on Sunday around 3 pm. He looked good: worth-checking-out handsome. He was dressed down in hip jeans and a baseball cap. He was with 2 male friends, and they were laughing and having a good time.

Julianna Margulies at the Union Square Whole Foods, 1/22. Casually dressed and absolutely gorgeous. I spotted her in the vitamin section and ended up standing behind her to check-out. She appeared to purchase one of each granola bar/snack bar/energy bar in the check-out corral. She was with a friend to whom she explained the relative merits of snacking on almonds. Apparently they are good for your skin. And she has beautiful skin, so I ll trust her on this one.

Sunday, 1/22, 1:30 PM-ish bleary-eyed following drinks'n brunch at Essex nearly smacked into Russell Simmons on 3rd St & 1st Ave. He looked exactly like he looks on TV and was talking on a hands-free cell phone.

It's been a while since I've had a celeb sighting, but on Saturday morning around 11am after my workout at Reebok, I bumped into Matt Dillon outside, fresh from his Sundance/Golden Globes appearance. He looked oh-so-incognito in his black Persol shades and mustard yellow North Face parka; must be requisite Park City uniform.

Kerri Russell eating at the counter alone at Po, reading the New York Times Magazine. She looked content in a t-shirt and sweats hanging with the bartender and wait staff.

My coworker and I spotted Elizabeth Berkley (of Saved by the Bell and Showgirls fame) loading up a grocery cart at Whole Foods on Seventh Avenue yesterday afternoon. I also spotted supermodel Gemma Ward looking gaunt and gangly on the corner of Charles and Bleecker (across from Intermix).

Saw Antonio Banderas walking down 56th street last Thursday. Shorter than I thought he d be (about 5 8 ), and better looking in person (the hair didn t have the greasy look it can have).

Saw Kelly Ripa in the Williams Sonoma at the Time Warner Center. Everyone noticed her but no one approached her. She was getting help from a sales person and picking out cookbooks. Her face was way too tan and she looks like she's had a lot of chemical peels.

Saw Anh Duong walk past Cubbyhole (12th and West 4th) late Sunday afternoon (1/22). She was tall, thin, pale skinned and striking, as to be expected. Her gorgeous shiny black hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she was wearing slim fitting, dark colored work out gear. She looked a lot younger than she probably is, since I have been seeing pictures of her in Vogue magazine since forever.

Sunday at about 3:30 saw the Strokes filming a video for their new single in the Financial District. They were all playing live in the street with about 1000 extras on the set walking back and forth across the shoot.

Former governor James McGreevy spotted tonight at Cookshop entertaining three other attractive, middle aged men who may or may not ineligible for office. Apparently he felt the need to order the "porgie special" a full fish, head and tail and suck everything off the carcass. He then proceeded to pick up said carcass and shake it around for all to see. Grim.

Had dinner at Nick and Toni's on 67th last night, along with Tony Danza and Liza Minelli, who were nestled together in a corner. Gotta love the UWS. The restaurant was otherwise largely empty, so Minelli is either going deaf or daytime TV has turned Danza into that guy who has no ability to modulate his voice. Hey Danza can it, I'm still not
gonna watch your show.

[Ed: We're going to print the following in its entirety, because we love you and want to make you cry.]
6:45 pm: Tower Records at West 4th street. I m at the info counter on your left as you enter the store asking about a dance CD (which came out 2 weeks ago but is already out of stock & they have no idea if/when it will ever be re-ordered great customer service as always, Tower Records not!). As I am finishing my dance CD questions, who comes up right behind me but Lizzie Jagger! She looked so bedraggled and sloppily dressed that for a few seconds I wasn t even sure it was her maybe just some typical boho NYU student but after checking her out a few more seconds I realize it is 100% her. Of course I study models everyday so I know these things. She's about 5'5-6," give or take, and her posture is not particularly good sort of hunched shoulders like a typical 22-ish NYU student. She did have a nice, slim-bordering-on too-thin physiognomy, I guess as I say shes approx 20-22? her clothes & appearance are actually closest to my grandmother when she was approximately 60 or so. of all my models sightings, lizzie had the worst clothes ever next to erin wasson. here is lizzie's ensemble: a red wool ribbed winter hat/skull cap, pulled down to her eyebrows. a very long & woolly ugly thin red scarf that wrapped around her neck but also was so long that it also fell as far down as below her waist, and it was flying around as she spoke at the counter. a heather grey coat, slightly marc jacobs cut [marc would be my top guess, then anna sui or betsey johnson] a medium grey that had the initial look of a tawny suede, but on closer inspection was a kind of velvet-teen-plush-velour or brushed cootton/wool tawny grey. its cut like a 70s or 80s old lady coat. so ugly. that coat & her posture are just like my granma in 1977 or so, very Popeye Doyle!! it gets worse. white tights with cherrys on the vine print. on another girl these might be cute-ish but they just looked haphazard & color blind like her whole look. gruesome hightop chuck taylor converse in the ugliest puke green color ever. they were also splattered with either paint or dirt that lent them a DIRTY BUM QUALITY, YET THEY WERE NOT THAT WORN IN. so somehow lizzie found new Cons that are puke green with already gross splatters on them. her brows are very thick, same shape as her moms cute blonde brows. her nose is much bigger & bumpier looking in person. the first second i saw her nose, i said this cant be a model. she had awful heavily cake white makeup on. really thick. she has a few small dark birthmarks on her face. her makeup was so thick and white I thought it must be covering something, I think her skin beneath was fairly bad texture/broken out. she had on radiant red lipstick, also applied so thick like a granny or a hooker/showgirl. i suppose her lips are luscious & thick like her dads but i was not feeling a sexy vibe from her with that overdone bright red lipstick. she reminded me of the messy nyu 718-NJ dorm girls at class in the afternoon looking like they just rolled out of bed in deliberately thrift store bedraggled looking antique boutique-esque clothes.
she didnt exactly cut my place in line, she did kind of wait for me to finish, but then she pushed her way to the register next to me & said something like 'you have a dvd for me.' the salesguy had it ready right there. I guess the name jagger gets you better customer service at tower. the dvd was 'the ballad of jack & rose.' I have heard from a few people this is a good film. she asked 'can I pay for this here?' the sales man said yes. i went over to the entryway where they have the village voice & pulled out my appointment book to look at it for a few moments. within 30 seconds lizzie had completed her purchase and was headed out the revolving door right next to me again. i looked ay her face again as she left, i was still stunned by the thick red lips, heavy white pancake & ugly clothes like her awful grey jacket, the red scarf still flying around and that red wool hat. Im trying to remember her skirt as i recall it was a puke green denim-ish skirt, just below the knee, similar in color to her converse [it might also be called field or meadow green, the color of weeds & crabgrass in long island by the ponds] it was also somewhat distressed like her Cons, same gross light/puke green color, almost a stonewashed or distressed denim texture, which was just gruesome in the puke green shade. the palette of puke skirt, white tights with red cherrys on them,. and puke converse all together was almost enough to make me sick, the riot of colors. and that grey marc jacobs granma coat is really ugly too, with its weird velveteen/velour texture. oh her accent. its similar to jerry halls, the texas marblemouth, but also with a veneer or speech pattern of london education. yes the texas/london accent confluence is a weird one, yet i have always found jerrys slow stoned texas drawl to be kind of sexy, and lizzie has inherited it + an extra layer of marblemouth + that cool london school of economics english veneer that mick so charmingly speaks with, almost clipped & yet a more intelligent cockney.
so thats my lizzie jagger ballad of jack & rose story. it all happpened within about 3 minutes at 6:45 tonight - 6:50 at tower records.
oh I think lizzie is a horrible model- shes actually not a model at all really- at first when terry richardson dumped lizzie & the richards ion a garbage can I thought it was mysogynist, but now I think it was an accurate editorial ugly-beauty statement on wacky terry's part. and I have seen the richards girls in person & they are far far superior looks wise, style wise & modelling wise. theodora particularly impressed me in a pink dress/slacks with her pretty blonde hair & great makeup. and as great as jerry hall was, patti hansen is & was a far far better model than jerry, imo.