Baby Brangelina Will Have a Vagina

Only because we feel obligated to keep you abreast the important matters of national conversation, we'll relay the following: According to today's spanking-new issue of Life & Style, the inevitably sexy lovechild of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will be a girl. The information was accidentally revealed by Pitt's younger sister, who is now dead to them all.

So, there, now you know. This information will obviously help you sleep soundly tonight, as the Celebrity Spawn Threat level has shifted from baby blue to precious pink.

Update: Us Weekly is reporting that the baby is a boy. Brangelina is clearly fucking with our heads, so let's be safe and just say that the baby will have either a vagina or a penis. But not both, because that's kind of sad.