Defamer is committed to connecting eager job hunters looking to get a foothold in the entertainment business with exciting opportunities to play a support role in the inebriated-coeds-flashing-their-breasts- for-a-free-trucker-hat-and-a-lifetime-of-regrets industry. As always, Craigslist provides:
Girls Gone Wild Office Coordinator
Office Coordinator Needed:
Mantra Films, Inc. the producer of Girls Gone Wild is looking for a highly organized, detail oriented, and dependable Office Coordinator in Santa Monica, CA. Duties include assisting the VP of Production, Booking Agent, Tour Coordinator, and Production Manager in all areas of production, including three nationwide tours and various Spring Break locales.
Ideal candidate is internet savvy, skilled in Excel and Word. He or She is able to work hard, follow-through, and be available at least 9am to 6pm M-F in an extremely fast-paced environment. Advancement within the company is a possibility.
Please send intro and resume to email@example.com
The ideal candidate must also be conformable reading the following phone script to disappointed former GGW cast members: "We at Girls Gone Wild regret that you've experienced doubts about your participation as a featured player in our films. However, at the time of shooting, you assured us you were at least 18, passed our 'How Many Sets Of Mardi Gras Beads Am I Holding Up?' Consent Sobriety Test, and held a pen somewhere near the area of a release form. Good luck in all of your future endeavors, and remember, 'Show us your tits!'"
Of course, we recognize that this listing may not be for everyone, so we'd be remiss in our duties if we didn't offer an alternate opportunity. How about taking a little money to help a major studio release generate some buzz?
Get Paid to be the Pink Panther's Biggest Fan!! Are you energetic and outgoing? Creative, cutting edge advertising agency seeks a dedicated fan of the upcoming Pink Panther movie to embark on an unprecedented promotion concurrent with the DVD release. We are working with the world renowned plastic surgeon behind MTV's hit show "I Want a Famous Face" to re-create the cast of the film for an upcoming publicity tour and fan convention. Seeking willing participants to have their likeness reimagined in the likes of the four leading characters: Steve Martin, Kevin Klein, Beyonce Knowles, and most excting THE PINK PANTHER himself! Contact immediately, project must start asap. Participants, if well matched, will be paid along a range; starting at $10,000 for a Beyonce look alike and $100,000 and featured publicity opportunities for the Pink Panther.
$100,000 seems like sufficiently generous compensation for radical plastic surgery necessary to complete the Panther transformation; the fang installation, the grafting of pink fur onto one's skin, and the multiple face implants are all easily reversible once the opening weekend publicity onslaught ends. If they can't find a suitable candidate, however, a clause in Sony chief Amy Pascal's contract is triggered, and she'll be forced to attend all promotional events wearing the ragged panther costume used during the original movie's press tour in 1963.