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• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie want to get married. They also have no desire to get married. Star magazine will report both as fact. [R&M]
• Worried that they too might get bitch-slapped, St. Martin's Press is adding a big fat warning sticker on memoirist Augusten Burrough's just-released galleys. The Smoking Gun boys call this the "James Frey Effect," but we consider it Angry Oprah Prevention. [Page Six]
• Ashley Judd likes to hoard her swag in private, as if we won't know she's a freebie whore. [Lowdown]
• Nicole Kidman is named UN Goodwill Ambassador. She and Angelina Jolie are totally going to be BFF now. [IOL]
Entourage star Adrien Grenier will tie you up and touch you only with a "couples vibrating ring." Sounds hot. [Page Six]