Koyenize Me!

As the lonely New York Press continues to ride the shame spiral towards irrelevancy, new editor Harry Siegel is doing everything he can to extricate himself and HIS New York Press from that of former editor Jeff Koyen. And what better way to drum up some publicity than to trash Koyen in print? In his most recent column, retardedly titled "Bloomberg Koyenizes Gotham," Siegel strings together an odd metaphor about the uselessness of Mayor Bloomberg and the banality of New York city by comparing them to, uh... Jeff Koyen s editorship? Or is it vice versa? We can t tell.

There s a reason our hack predecessor here kept harping on Rudy Giuliani s sins long after he left office Bloomberg has managed to suck all the air our of the room, reducing almost the entire New York City press corps to a motley crew of Jeff Koyens, quibbling over meaningless nonsense and done deals, the slightly higher-minded equivalent of ranting about trannies, ex-mayors and the pope.

Why, yes! Who cares about trannies, ex-mayors and insulting a dying pope when there are much more important things to bitch about? Like, you know, the former editor of your struggling paper who left, oh, about a year ago? Whatever, crazy man! At any rate, we re thankful that Siegel's entered "Koyenize" into Gawker s style guide, which could fit nicely into a lot of our coverage. To wit:

Oprah Koyenizes James Frey
Kanye West and Jann Wenner Koyenize Jesus
Crack Cocaine Koyenizes Natasha Lyonne

It doesn't even matter if it makes sense — like Harry, we just know it's just a fun word to say!

Bloomberg Koyenizes Gotham [NY Press]