A one-star Army general who serves in the Pentagon's inner circle of decision-makers was lightly reprimanded for joking in emails to colleagues that he had masturbated "3 times over the past 2 hours" after meeting with "smoking hot" tea party Rep. Renee Ellmers (R-N.C.).

Amazingly, Brigadier Gen. Martin P. Schweitzer's 2011 crank-yanking fantasy talk only came to light recently after investigators were checking the emails of another general who was facing a court martial for sexual assault. Schweitzer had emailed that general and another one a synopsis of his meeting with Ellmers, according to the Washington Post:

"First — she is smoking hot," Schweit­zer wrote. "Second — briefing went well . . . she was engaging . . . had done her homework. She wants us to know she stands with us and will work/push to get the Fort Bragg family resourced."

That, and what came next, led prosecutors to turn over the e-mail chain to the Army inspector general for a full investigation.

"He sucks :-) still needs to confirm hotness," Sinclair teased in a reply.

More than an hour later, Schweitzer responded with an apology for the delay, saying he had masturbated "3 times over the past 2 hours" after the meeting with the congresswoman.

When the Post first asked to see a copy of the Army report on Schweitzer's behavior, it was hard to see what the big deal was; Ellmers' name, and all the lewd statements, had been redacted to create some bizarre military sexual-harassment Mad Libs:

But the truth won out: "The Post obtained an original, uncensored copy of the e-mails from another source."


Ellmers—a social conservative who was featured in the 2012 "Great American Conservative Women" calendar—called the emails "entirely inappropriate" and told the Post she was "pleased with the corrective actions that are taking place and how [the Army] handled this very difficult situation."

Schweitzer was given a "memorandum of concern" and may not be promoted to major general. It's an easier punishment than the one that likely awaits another general, who is awaiting trial for allegedly assaulting one of his multiple mistresses, according to additional records obtained by the Post.

[Photo credits: U.S. Army; U.S. Congress]