The skyline of "The Big Apple" is festooned with soaring, glass-sheathed condo high rises, where the world's wealthy shelter in altitudinous luxury, away from the teeming masses. With a little luck, all of those people will die in a heat wave.
The Wall Street Journal reports on a charming new study that examined what might happen to all of the real estate in our fair city during a blackout—the type of thing that does happen with some frequency! Those of you unable to afford a crib in One 57 may take heart in these findings:
The study found that if a similar blackout [to the one that occurred after Sandy] happened during a summer heat wave, the effect would be more severe: Interior temperatures could rise to more than 90 degrees the first day in a glass-walled building. After seven days, temperatures might peak at more than 102 degrees in the afternoon.
Across Manhattan, hedge fund managers and high society mavens stagger out the revolving doors of their crystalline towers, stricken with heat stroke, their [ed.-Google the name of some famous designers] suits drenched in sweat, smoke comically projecting from their ear canals like cartoon characters.
Man, that would be funny.