• We'd like to issue a formal apology to kiddie-chronicler David Amsden: When we saw the cover story for the latest New York mag, which examines the ambisexual teen "movement," we automatically assumed you were the author. But you weren't! We had you all wrong — we thought you automatically got covered that shit. Sorry to misjudge. [NYM]
• Dude, brah, we've got to get us some hot bitches for Sunday. Seriously, yo, I am NOT getting up from the leather sectional to fetch my own Budweiser. [Craigslist]
&#8226 Wait, isn't Hayden Christenson gay? [Egotastic]
• Former Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman joins the roman clef party by revealing his desire to shave former co-worker Paula Froelich's head. [Gatecrasher]
• The Oscars suck. Try something more democratic, like the Felixes. [The Felixes]
• Ashlee Simpson is David Lee Roth. Sorry, David. [CityRag]

Contact information for this author is not available.