James Bond, Party Of One

The next Bond movie, Casino Royale, is off to a not-so-great start. True, we have our new 007 and hopefully he's laying off the booze, lest we end up with the rather unrefined image of the superspy flying down the Swiss Alps in a black tie and little else but the other two crucial, pussy-stroking pieces of the Bond puzzle are still missing: the villain and the girl.

"They're talking to three to four girls right now," said "Casino Royale" scribe Paul Haggis. "Every week I read there's a new Bond girl, and I call them and they say, No, you idiot."


Daniel Craig was cast as Bond in October, leaving the remainder of the cast a mystery. In recent days, Rachel McAdams and Thandie Newton have emerged as possible Bond girls. An insider said casting of the villain is much further along than that of the female star. [...]

"To be that exposed is unheard of," the agent said. "(The actor or actress) can have them over a barrel. Not to have your two principal leads (by now) is awfully strange."

A true heavy-handed artist like Paul Haggis can't be expected to labor under these last-minute conditions. With no one to envision in the roles, how can he create obvious enough motives for his two greatest characters, Nefarious Q. Worlddomination and Horny Ladyparts?