Brett Ratner's Totally Rad Oscar Bash

For a mere $250 and the price of an NYU education, you too can party at the mansion of America's Favorite Fauxteur to prematurely celebrate the Oscars. Some amused alumni forwarded us the e-mail announcing this exciting fund-raising event. Here's the part we care about:

Instrumental to the success of this Tisch Los Angeles alumni initiative is an Oscar Party which Tisch alumnus and celebrated filmmaker Brett Ratner has graciously offered to host and sponsor at his home on the evening of March 2. The proceeds from this event will create a fund to support alumni programs. I am writing you to make you aware of this exciting initiative and to ask for your support for the Oscar Party on March 2. The party will be a small gathering of 50-75 guests featuring a "vintage" Hollywood theme, screenings in Brett's theater, dancing and a buffet dinner and bar. Dean [redacted] will be joining us for the event. It should be a fun, festive and memorable evening. If you would like to be a sponsor for the Oscar Party or reserve tickets at $250 per person, please call me at 212-xxx-xxxx.

Woo hoo! [sound of two hands connecting in a high five] Party at Ratner's house! Be forewarned: While you think the $250 cover charge might include a piggy-back ride from Ratner in his Wolverine suit (and wearing a matching leather bow-tie, of course), be prepared for disappointment. He probably doesn't want to risk injuring himself and ruining his annual Oscar night plans of turning defiant donuts in his Ferrari outside the Kodak Theater while best pal Robert Evans woozily moons the red-carpet throng from the shotgun position.