Defamer Party Report: Mischa Barton's Poseidon Adventure

A Defamer operative sends in this report of what starts out as your standard issue Hollywood brat party jaded hipsters, the cast of The O.C., honorary "cool" party dad Jeremy Piven but thanks to some shoddy workmanship, quickly takes a disastrous turn for the soggy:

So I went to this party with one of my friends on Saturday, not realizing what awaited me. It was a random assortment of young Hollywood including: much of the cast of The O.C., recognizable faces whose egos are bigger than their resumes, and trust-fund babies of major A-listers, oh and to top it all off, Jeremy Piven, who still thinks he is part of young Hollywood. Much of the party took place on a wooden platform that was used to cover the pool underneath. As I looked around trying to remember "what I had seen that guy in", suddenly the party took a dark turn. The platform we were standing on began to break and cave into the pool, causing mass terror and chaos. Luckily, nobody who fell into the pool, apparently including Mischa Barton, was hurt! However, there was one casualty-Mischa's Sidekick, that she was heard bitching about for the rest of the night!

We suppose we would dredge up more enthusiasm for this story were it not such a blatant riff on basically every O.C. ever written. This leads us to suspect that somehow, the O.C. writers are now scripting their actors' real lives, too. The theory is lent all the more credence when you take into account that Barton was later spotted sitting off in a corner, being consoled over her Sidekick loss by a blonde rocker chick with poofy bangs. Moments later, the two were locked in an awkward lip-mashing, followed by Mischa's realization by evening's end that she in fact is not an actual lesbian. (All of which was observed and thoroughly enjoyed from a short distance by Piven, who was overheard telling a companion, "If you squint, you can still catch some nip action through her wet shirt.")