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Late on Friday, Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow announced that they were ending their engagement. The Tour de France champion and Grammy-winning musician didn't give any reasons for their breakup, but we're guessing it had something to do with her age (43) and his balls (only one).

While our hearts go out to these unfortunate souls, the real tragedy is the February issue of Allure, which features Crow on its cover with the headline "Sheryl Crow on Love, Loss, and Lance." Ouch. Open the magazine, and it gets even more painful:

Despite Crow's friendly demeanor and laid-back look [...] the singer got right down to business, carrying a cell phone, a BlackBerry, and a thick binder of wedding paperwork.

Oh, God. Not the binder. Allure will never get over the binder.

Crow, Armstrong Announce Split [Rolling Stone]