Dina Lohan, Raspy-Voiced Mother of the Year

It's hard not to hate Dina Lohan, the perpetually tanned and fluffed mother of troubled starlet Lindsay. Maybe it's her denial of reality that makes us want to smack her:

Lindsay's fine. She's a 19-year-old girl. The writer twisted some of her words. [Lindsay] had said 'I wasn't eating right,' and this interviewer ... everyone has to be labeled, so they tried to label her. Well, it's not about labels. It's about being honest. Lindsay is honest and open.

But you do have to admire Dina's logic, based on pure capitalism:

If Lindsay had a problem, she wouldn't be coming out with four movies in a year.

Good point, Mom. If it ain't broke, cut it another line.

Lohan Family Laughs It Off [Newsday]