Paris Hilton Instrumental In Seizing Of Joe Francis' Dildo Tormentor

There is happy news for the Dino De Laurentiis of inebriated, exhibitionistic, vacationing sorority girl cinema verite, Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. Darnell Riley, Francis' blackmailing assailant, has pled guilty to some of his alleged actual* crimes (by way of review, Riley broke into Francis' home, held him at gunpoint, bound him with duct tape, and forced him to repeat the words
I
m from Boys Gone Wild, and I like it up the ass,
capturing the entire scene on video for the purposes of extortion). And to paraphrase an oft-repeated sentiment borrowed from the files of Mystery, Inc., he might have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for that meddling Paris Hilton:

L.A. cops busted Darnell Riley after Francis told them that Hilton had overheard in December 2004 that Riley and another man were responsible for the home-invasion attack at Francis's Bel Air mansion. [...]



Riley copped to one count of robbery and one count of attempted extortion in L.A. yesterday. He was sentenced to 10 years and eight months in state prison.

An elated-sounding Francis tells PAGE SIX's Fernando Gil, "I'm grateful to Paris for giving the police information that led them to Mr. Riley and ultimately led to his conviction. I'm happy with the outcome, obviously. Justice has been served."

If the Great Brownie Point Tallyer in the Sky is paying attention, this refreshing dose of rough justice courtesy Miss Hilton should adequately annul any demerits she racked up ordering hits on party promoters. Sadly, a single good deed does little to improve her almost guaranteed placement in the second-to-lowest circle of Hell, where the perpetual party girl will undoubtedly be found dancing on a VIP table in the corner for the rest of eternity, as she orders bottle after bottle of boiling Cristal from her waiter, who obviously was fated to the bottom rung.

*UPDATE:Joe Francis's lawyers have taken issue with the imprecision of the language in our description of the story above. We've corrected to indicate the crimes that Riley admitted to were "actual" rather than "alleged" (our bad), and we didn't mean to insinuate that any actual sodomy took place in the videotaped, nonpenetrative, dildo-related menacing incident originally described by Radar.