Ain't It Cool News has come across perhaps the greatest promotion in the history of soon-to-be-doomed movies. Visitors to the website of New Line's Running Scared can take part in a highly immersive interactive experience (you must be 17 years old to play—wink wink, horny fifth graders!), becoming a virtual, cunnilingus-craving version of Paul Walker:
That's right, for their online game... You get to play PAUL WALKER going down on his wife... and the object is to eat her to orgasm! Make her arch her back and beg you to stop. WHAT THE FUCK? I'm serious. They really made a game over there that requires you to hit your arrow keys to emulate eating pussy. This is obviously what the internet was meant for. Right? Now, I have to say... Paul Walker's wife is the easiest woman in the world to get off... because for one... there's a fucking yellow arrow guide to how to get her off...
We really can't fault New Line's marketing department for the shocking play for attention—if your movie can be described as a "Paul Walker vehicle," you'd probably light your children on fire to distract people from that unfortunate fact.
Unfortunately, despite our repeated tries to access the game, it seems to be offline. However, the folks at AICN managed to capture some images from the game, which are just as disturbing as you'd dreamed. The money shot (might be NSFW) is after the jump:
We'll spare you the painful squinting at the text of the romantic climax: "YEAH! Your wife just came her fucking brains out! (Now go wash your mouth out with booze)"
You've just been scarred for life by some studio's desperate marketers! (Now go wash off your eyeballs with Clorox.)