• Madonna reportedly celebrated her Grammy performance by heading over to Cedars-Sinai for hernia surgery. Yes, she is human — and Kabbalah apparently doesn't protect her from intestinal bulges. [Page Six]
• Dina Lohan and daughter Lindsay reportedly have a public spat about Lindsay's partying. Mom's tired of staying out until dawn, but Lindsay just can't go out and blow rails without supervision. [Page Six]
• The wedding of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban reportedly looms near. No clue if the ex-Thetan is invited, but here's hoping. [PC]
• Paris Hilton's forthcoming album contains a song about her falling-out with Nicole Richie. As you can imagine, it's lyrically powerful and emotionally potent. Just like herpes. [Scoop (2nd item)]
• Edie Falco, who wore no makeup for her role in Freedomland, leaves a showing of the film, unable to stand her de-spackled face. [Lowdown (3rd to last)]
• Bill Clinton suggests that perhaps VP Dick Cheney should not have shot his friend in the face. We miss you Bill. Come back. [R&M]

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