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You can't go a week without someone saying Google's buying you. And after so long, "no comment" won't cut it.

After all, when Google said "no comment" to the Measure Map rumor, everyone knew that was a cop-out. After all, the company usually flat-out denies rumors when it could get away with subterfuge. Google could use a lesson in rumor deflection:

Wishful thinking
"I wish!" (Kevin Rose used this when a "Yahoo buys Digg" rumor went around.)
"If only!"

Hedged bets
"Well, of course, everything's always for sale."
"Well, of course, everyone talks to everyone."
"If they showed me a billion dollars, I wouldn't be an idiot."

Rhetorical questions best answered "no"
"Wouldn't it be great if we stayed independent?"

What do you recommend? Ever heard a smooth "maybe so, maybe not" deflection?

Earlier: Google eyes Measure Map [Valleywag]