The Blind Item Guessing Game: V-Day Tragedy

Wherein we invite our readers to slip into their most aerodynamix spandex bodysuits and lay down on top of E! gossip-Olympian Ted Casablanca, then ride his two-man luge down the treacherous, icy chute of his weekly blind item. This week, Casablanca spins a tale of Valentine Day's woe, though one that's tragically devoid of coke-binging bimbos or doggy-styling closet-cases. Sip champagne from the slipper of (Two) Bitches on the Verge Blind Vices:

Ted sez: "Okay, get out the Kleenex. Because whatever you may have done on Valentine's Day, I'm sure you had a peachier time than Ivana Belch. Picture it. One of WeHo's snazziest boutiques. I.B. saunters in looking bloated, like she'd spent the morning crying into her feather bed alone instead of banging pillows against the walls in the throws of passion. A shame, yes, given that I.B. is certainly attached to a dude. But it gets worse. 'Suddenly, she burst out crying, sobbing really, and went into the dressing room,' whispers my stunned shopping source. 'It was so sad. You wanted to hug her.'" Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to tips[AT]defamer.com with "blind" in the subject line, and we'll post the results later today.