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As if featuring club staple Jeremy Piven on smarm-overload in its nightlife issue weren't enough entertainment for a single magazine, Los Angeles might have also incited a war between two of Hollywood's foremost practitioners of the celebrity-fellating arts, Tropicana/Teddy's queen Amanda Scheer Demme and promoter Brent Bolthouse. Says Page Six:

In the mag's profile of powerhouse L.A. nightclub promoter Brent Bolthouse, an anonymous "business associate" of Scheer-Demme, explaining her decision not to pose for a picture with Bolthouse in the magazine, told writer Dave Gardetta, "We just think Bolthouse is so over, now that he's sold out to the Jew." The unidentified Scheer-Demme associate was referring to Sam Nazarian, who recently merged his fast-growing hospitality company SBE with Bolthouse's promotion business.

Called for comment, Scheer-Demme e-mailed Page Six: "Being a proud Jew, and having been a partner of Brent's at one time, I find it hard to believe that anyone I may know or work with would ever make an anti-Semitic comment like that, and I would never tolerate any form of racism or sexism in my company.

"I adore Brent and am friendly with Sam. This just seems to be a carefully worded attempt to provoke animosity, and it makes me upset to hear people talk like that. I am sickened by this statement, as well as by the person (whose article I coincidentally declined to participate in) who printed it in a clear attempt to attach me to it."

To ensure that this bit of nastiness blows over and to avoid retaliation by the Jewish Mafia, Scheer Demme will immediately enforce a "no Christians" policy at ultra-exclusive, A-list hidey-hole Teddy's. Should a Hilton or Lohan try to infiltrate the perimeter, Demme's bouncers will shoot them with tranquilizer darts and dump their limp, bony bodies in front of that evening's Bolthouse-sponsored event.