Copyranter Mark Duffy, arguably the angriest living boy in New York, happened across insufferable adman Donny Deutsch's new column in Jason Binn's equally insufferable Gotham magazine. Deutsch, Binn, Gotham: They're all things we do our best to avoid, and so we owe great thanks to 'Ranter Duffy, who took a good luck at Deutsch's first effort — it's called, theoretically cleverly, "Deutsch Mark" — and crunched the numbers that remind us why we engage in that avoidance:

In the March issue of Gotham, Douche interviews Billy Joel. The first 2 words of the article? "For me..." Total Words from Joel: 82. Total Words Douche talks directly about himself: 194. Total Words plugging his Talk Show: 50. Times he writes "I" or "me": 18. Times he calls Joel a "Brand": 1. Total Words in article: 435. Times I said "Douche" while reading the article: 1,038.

In a 435-word piece, 194 words about the author himself? To be honest, we're a little envious.

Donnie Deutsch Mark! [Copyranter]

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