It's never a dull moment with American Idol's resident cheerleading Chihuahua, Paula Abdul. Rushing back to LA to make an Idol results show taping, Abdul was mobbed by fans at the Las Vegas airport. A skycap came to the rescue, escorting her past security and onto the plane, resulting in an airport security breach which forced the entire plane to be "reverse screened" when they landed in Burbank.

Perhaps the airport's brain-scrambling metal detectors were the source of Paula's bizarre behavior at the taping last night, which she did manage to get to on time, in body at least. When asked for insights and words of encouragement for departing contestants, Abdul was barely able to get out some indecipherable food-related sentiments before erupting into a cascade of giggles and tumbling into Simon Cowell's lap (partial video above):

When Seacrest asked Abdul why two contestants received the fewest votes, she mumbled, head in hands, Simon said because one of them ate pizza and the other ate salad.

A shocked Seacrest responded, You guys realize we re on the air?

Abdul got it together for a few minutes, but during the second round of cuts, she was back to her odd behavior.

What did you tell me Simon? she said, slurring her words. What did you tell me? Simon gave me advice and said on The X Factor he always refers to a fortune cookie and says the moth who finds the melon - (laugher) - finds the corn flake always finds the melon and one of you didn t pick the right fortune.

We'd say we were shocked and disappointed, but we actually couldn't be happier Abdul's back riding the bar car to Crazyville. Our American Idol drinking game just wasn't as fun when we couldn't cash in on that once dependable source of inebriation: "Sip twice if Paula rambles on about 'star quality,' starts sobbing, then hits her skull on the desk with a thud."