Simon Dumenco Wants to Bang Us

We always suspected notoriously cranky mediaphile Simon Dumenco is undersexed. It's the only way to explain his exhaustive analysis of Harper's exhaustive article on flash mobs and New York's exhaustive blogger article — because somehow, through some magical twist of logic, he comes to the conclusion that both stories are "very smart, but rather sexless." And in one of the most generous, unsolicited compliments ever to bestowed upon us, he ends his column with this moneyshot quote: "Reading Gawker makes you more fuckable. And who knows? Maybe Romenesko makes you a better lover. OK, probably not."

We'll take the compliment, but he's wrong about Romenesko readers. Eric Alterman pulls more ass than George Clooney on a winning streak.

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