'Best Picture, Bitch!': An Evening Of Oscar Parties

We know at least a couple of you made it through the meticulously sculpted shrubberies outside the Vanity Fair party, as well as partook of the small army of shirtless, chocolate-dipped caiter-waiter hunks at the competing Elton John soiree, and so we anxiously await your first-hand party reports. Until then, we'll just have to settle with what some anonymous wire reporter managed to eavesdrop at the proceedings:

At the stroke of midnight, a grinning Reese Witherspoon showed up to Vanity Fair's annual bash at Morton's with two men dangling from her arms: her best actress Oscar statuette and husband Ryan Phillippe. [...]

"Best picture, bitch! Best picture!" he yelled to his "Crash" co-star Larenz Tate after hugging him in front of a wall of photographers.

Last year's Best Actress Oscar winner Hilary Swank, who told reporters in January she wanted to work on her marriage with newly separated husband Chad Lowe, showed up sans hubby and surrounded by a ring of men - a far cry from last year's lovefest with Lowe and her "Million Dollar Baby" prize. [...]

Just down the street, Elton John's Oscar party at the Pacific Design Center was certainly lavish, but competed for attendees with newcomer US Weekly and Rolling Stone's joint "Oscar Rocks" shindig housed in Wolfgang Puck's restaurant. [...]

Guests included Prince, Tori Spelling, Elisha Cuthbert and three Olympic medalists: speedskater Apolo Anton Ohno, figure skater Sasha Cohen and skateboarder Shaun "The Flying Tomato" White.

But as Vanity Fair's party raged past 1:30 a.m., both bashes at the Pacific Design Center dwindled into nothingness.

Seeing as we attended neither, it would seem rather presumptuous of us to declare Vanity Fair victorious. That said, when you consider an evening at Elton's consisted of gnawing on tandoori chicken skewers while keeping one eye on Sasha Cohen to see if she would take a tumble into the giant gay cowboy ice-sculpture, we'd probably have to award his party the silver, too.