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Wherein we invite our readers to step up to humpy E! gossipist Ted Casablanca's awards podium and forget to thank their life partner for all of the support they've lent in solving his linguistically impenetrable blind items. This week, Ted's grown tired with longtime blind item rentboy Toothy Tile and is hungry for some fresh, closeted blood. Behold One Fellah-Flirting-in-Public Blind Vice?:

Ted sez: "Toothy Tile, you're toast. You've been so damn taken with the breathless watching of whether or not you'd maybe, just maybe, decide to come outta the closet you thought you'd keep your fans (not to mention my readers) on the edge of their slippery seats forever. Think again. 'Cause, girlfriend, there's a new gay in town—meet Crisp Lisp. And he's way cooler. Actually new isn't quite the right word to describe C.L., but more on him in a sec. Let's face it. T2 was going to be dethroned as King of the Closet one of these days. Everyone is bored, already. I mean, come out or stay in, it's your call. But the way Toothy prances about (lately), never really making any statements that give us something to chomp on, is just plain aggravating." Read the item.

You say: Send your guesses to tips[AT] with "blind" in the subject line, and we'll post the results later today.