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It's like Burning Man with clothes on: South by Southwest Interactive, the confabulous geekfest and opening act for Austin's SXSW Music Festival. This weekend, Valleywag will be on the scene, getting startup owners drunk and telling you all about it.

But I'm all new to this. Keep me from spending all week dumbly gaping at Malcolm Gladwell or throwing bar peanuts at Jason Kottke's head. Name the one can't-miss panel Valleywag must mock, or the one party where every quote is waggable. Leave it in the comments or e-mail I can't promise I'll make all of them, but any event with free beer will end up on my schedule.