Up Next For Cruise And Holmes: Hot Oil Massage At The Final FourNot content to have already wreaked havoc on the institution of America's Sweetheart by plucking Katie Holmes from a promising acting career and transforming her into the world's most famous watermelon smuggler, Cruise took steps to spoil America's Pastime by splashing his suspicious relationship all over Anaheim's JumboTron. Says an operative at last night's US vs. Mexico WBC game:

[Last night] at the World Baseball Classic in Anaheim (US v Mexico) during the fifth inning "Kiss Cam" shtick, they put a couple up on screen that looks like TomKat—turns out it's them (it likes baseball?) and T is forced into taking his bride in an over the top, wild-eyed embrace and kiss with a huge s-eating grin after he bit into her neck. A lady next to me calls someone on her phone and says "They just showed Tom Cruise...Tom Cruise, you know, the Scientologist!"

The true victim in all of this (besides our eyeballs, which will soon be pierced by corn-on-the-cob holders as punishment for looking at the above AP picture of the PDA) is Cruise's son Connor, who is spending his formative years learning the causal relationship between the appearance of cameras and the immediate physical expression of love.

[Photo: AP]