Isaac Hayes May Have Quit 'South Park' By His Own Not-Free Will's Roger Friedman delves into that matter of Isaac Hayes' recent huffy exit from South Park, announced by a sanctimonious statement in which the singer decried: "Religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored." If it seemed rash and uncharacteristic of a man who had proven himself more than pliable to over nine seasons of South Park outrageousness, the action becomes even more suspicious when you consider the circumstances that led up to it:

I can tell you that Hayes is in no position to have quit anything. Contrary to news reports, the great writer, singer and musician suffered a stroke on Jan. 17. At the time it was said that he was hospitalized and suffering from exhaustion. [...]

Friends in Memphis tell me that Hayes did not issue any statements on his own about South Park. They are mystified.

Isaac s been concentrating on his recuperation for the last two and a half, three months, a close friend told me.

Hayes did not suffer paralysis, but the mild stroke may have affected his speech and his memory. He s been having home therapy since it happened.

While a right hemisphere stroke has been know to cause behavioral changes such as "lack of concern about situations, impulsivity, inappropriateness," it would also play the kind of cognitive neurological havoc on the brain that impairs one's ability to, say, compose an extremely lucid, soundbite-friendly statement on the evils of criticizing one's "religious beliefs." It's enough to make you think this message may have been composed for him, perhaps by the same team of handlers who abducted Hayes from the evil clutches of his neurological rehabilitation treatment program, replacing it with their far more effective vitamins-and-heating-pad-on-your-head stroke-Thetan-reducing technique.