Hollywood PrivacyWatch: Ryan Phillippe Performs Abridged 'Crash'

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers. Send yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put sighting or PrivacyWatch in the subject line) and let everyone know that Jodie Foster has a Starbucks problem.

In this week's Kiefercentric episode: Ryan Phillippe; Jodie Foster; Joaquin Phoenix; Eva Longoria; Jamie Foxx; Kiefer Sutherland; Johnny Knoxville; Kirsten Dunst and Andy Samberg; Wilmer Valderrama; Brendan Fraser; Andy Dick; Courtney Love, Frances Bean, and Kimberly Stewart; William Shatner; Matthew Perry; Benicio Del Toro; Jeremy Piven; Warren Beatty; Catherine Keener; Timothy Olyphant; John Mayer; Danny Masterson, Bijou Phillips and Bai Ling; Kelly Osbourne; John C. Reilly and Peaches; Parker Posey; Mila Kunis, Macaulay Culkin and Seth Green; Elisha Cuthbert; Michelle Trachtenberg; Chad Lowe; Skeet Ulrich; John Krasinski; Michael Goorjian; Bruce Villanche, Chris Kattan and Ann Turkel; Apolo Ohno; Constantine Maroulis; Radha Mitchell; Eric Idle; Lisa Loeb, Anthony Kiedis and Lacy Chabert; Eugene Levy; Jennifer Coolidge; Joey McIntyre; Forest Whitaker; Cynthia Watros; Emilie de Ravin; Robert Sean Leonard and Louis Lombardi; Milo Ventimiglia; Tim Meadows; Rob McElhenney; Joel McHale; Sarah Shahi; Jeffrey Jones; Michael Colton and John Aboud.

· I just saw Ryan Phillippe of "Crash" and "Reese Witherspoon spouse" fame in Brentwood village. He was crossing the street in front of Brentair Pharmacy and was having a verbal argument with some dude following him in an SUV. Not sure what caused the tiff but Mr. Phillippe was heard saying "F*&k you man, you're not going to sue me, I'm going to sue you!" and my personal favorite "Enjoy your restraining order man". I spun around in complete shock and surprise that in this day and age of celebrity gossip that this was not being captured by some eager paparazzi but none were in sight. I was actually more surprised that he was acting like this in public when mere mortals like myself could be catching it on a camera phone or in this case, giving the info. to defamer. Ryan is quite short and gangsta in a wannabe way with side tilted baseball cap,wife beater and track pants. He eventually told the guy in the SUV to "F#@k and then got into his own SUV and sped off, gangsta lean in tact. I was left with the impression that Ryan has quite a temper and very little regard for his PR person but on closer evaluation it occurred to me that the guy in the SUV following him might have been the paparazzi that I was searching for. So maybe it wasn't as crazy as it looked and it was a mere celebrity/paparazzi disagreement. Either way it was my first eye witness encounter of an angry celeb in public since moving to LA 4 years ago, sadly....that's not saying much.

· 3/22/06, 8:24 a.m. Jodie Foster, at the Starbucks at Robertson and Santa Monica, teaching Basic American Values to her two kids. The Starbucks turned out to be closed for renovation, so they were giving out free coffee and muffins on the sidewalk. One of the kids graciously received a muffin, and then said "I thought they would be blueberry," to which Jodie replied, "hey, beggars can't be choosers."

· 3/16 - jodie foster getting the same coffee as my father at some starbucks in weho on santa monica. i pointed her out to my dad, whom i had just picked up from the airport for his very first trip to l.a., and he loudly says "well i've never been a big jodie foster fan."

3/18 - chad lowe standing outside the universal studios offices on santa monica in santa monica.

· Friday 3/17 Ringside/Mellowdrone show at the Troubadour, stood in line at will call behind Skeet Ulrich wearing a baseball cap. He didn't get in at first but someone must has fixed the problem because he made it in shortly after. I also spotted "The Ice Princess" aka Michelle Trachtenberg. Joaquin Phoenix was there as well as David Arquette. Monday 3/20 had the pleasure of going to the "Yo Momma" party hosted by Wilmer "Big Wil"(as he called himself on stage)Valderrama at Priviledge. They had a mini red carpet with a "Yo Momma" back drop. Eva Longoria and Jamie Foxx were there and I have absolutely no idea why. Do they realize this show is basically a live version of the 90's book "Snaps?"

· Went skiing this weekend and had a great sighting of Kiefer Sutherland in the cafeteria at Mammoth Mountain. He is much sorter than expected — maybe about 5'8 and looks just as rough in person as he does on 24. The funniest part was they he was wearing a bright red sweater with little snowflakes on it...kind of like something your Mom gives you at Christmastime and you shove in the bottom drawer to avoid hurting her feelings but never really wear. He was talking loudly and gesticulating wildly in that "hey notice me, but don't you dare come talk to me way." His table of friends (right by the cashier line of the cafeteria) were laughing loudly and hanging on his every word. T'was a lovely thing to ski at Gay Ski weekend.

· Heading into Shogun restaurant in Mammoth this past Saturday, I nearly tripped over a shockingly diminutive Kiefer Sutherland walking out with what looked like a posse of scruffy snowboarding pals. I thought Hollywood folks only went to glam resorts like Aspen & Deer Valley. Guess Kiefer is keeping it real with the rest of the LA-locals.

· 3/12 - kiefer sutherland at vert. remarkable if only because this was the first time i had seen him outside los feliz and/or sober.

· Wow, I am "defaming" on my sidekick. Shoot me now. Johnny Knoxville just walked into barneys beanery by himself. Monday night....1030.

· Tonight we saw Andy Samberg and Kirsten Dunst at Iroha Sushi (Coldwater and Ventura). Bizzaro. She looked like a bag lady (as per usus) but has great hair extensions. He looked his typical nebbishy self. They were not canoodling but did seem to have good chemistry. Guess SNL is a repeat tonight!

· Don't know if you give a shit about sightings outside of LA [Ed.note—We don't, but for Andy Dick, we'll allow it.] but since you've commented on Andy Dick's shitty movie at SXSW I thought I'd describe his after-premiere behavior:

Sat nite (3/11) at the Side Bar in Austin - waiting in line for the men's and got skipped by a skinny blonde chick who couldn't hold up her head and a dorky 40ish dude. Peeked into the john to see if there was an open spot and realized that the skinny chick was actually Andy Dick - he had his last-name in his hand and was spraying the floor in a 360-degree pattern. His dorky friend looked up, apologized and tried to clean up with the entire roll of paper towels — his reward? Dick grabs up all the yellowed towels
and smothers his friend's face - he then burst out of the john with his last-name hanging out of his pants.

· Yesterday, we had a late Monday brunch at Hugo's and saw Brendan Fraser. He looked like a cute schoolboy, complete with a backpack over both shoulders, his nose in a magazine, and a knit cap on his head (so no reports on the state of his hair). After he left, in walked Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin! Mila looked a little rough, complaining to her boy the whole time; they both seemed tired and upset.

· Mid-afternoon, day after St. Patrick's Day. Mila Kunis, Macaulay Culkin and Seth Green seated with a big group in the bar at Barney's Beanery in WeHo. Not trying too hard to lay low, Mila let out a huge shriek to get her friend's attention at the door and scared the hell out of me and a few others around the bar. They seemed really down to earth and fun— especially when Mila had an Irish Car Bomb with the college kids nearby.

· Sunday night @ Mr.Chow in Beverly Hills - Courtney Love, Frances Bean, and Kimberly Stewart dining together. William Shatner and a female companion were also in the building.

· 03/17 Arclight - Matthew Perry in glasses. Boring, I know. Never mind. It's just a reflex now to e-mail you.

· Sunday morning at Toast, while waiting outside for a table, saw John Krasinski pace up and down Third, solo - probably waiting for a table, too. Then last night at Dan Tana's, sat in a booth next to Benicio Del Toro and a male friend, both of whom were fixated on the Cuba-Japan baseball championship on tv. Benicio was unmistakeable, but man, he looks like he's put on a few years and a few pounds.

· Sitting at the sushi bar on Sawtelle with a friend last night and in walks Jeremy Piven looking very glum and serious. As the sushi is slightly curved and I am sitting at one end, I'm sort of facing him as I talk to my friend and I'm thinking he looks really good for his age. Nice skin, well fed. No one is bothering him and most of the Japanese people in the place have no idea who he is. As I look over towards him he lock eyes with me and GLARES. He then spends the rest of the evening glowering and eating huge quantities of fish. What a grouch....maybe he was pissed that there were no 16 year old girls in the place to hit on.

· Saw Warren Beatty in Studio City this weekend. I can confirm he eats his cold desserts, one scoop at a time.

· I'm on the late freight, but last Friday (March 10), I attended the UCLA Hammer Museum gala (read lame, self-important) to close out its Masters of American Comics exhibit and as I listened to people read way too much into Peanuts, I glanced to the person standing next to me and it was Deadwood's Timothy Olyphant and his silly mustache. He was wearing the standard artsy-guy turtleneck and intently checking out "Gasoline Alley."

· I know he isn't tabloid gold but I spotted singer John Mayer walking around the Promenade in Santa Monica Saturday. I didn't even recognize him until I saw a few people do double takes as he walked past. His hair was long and curly and he looked really really thin, also way taller than I expected. He was with a really pretty girl with auburn hair I would kill for. Not sure what the relationship was between them but he did do the 'hand on the small of her back' thing when they walked into the Diesel store.

· at the launch of mean magazine's fashion issue or whatever it was at LAX (snooze), we saw danny masterson (hair a lot less fro-y than imagined), bijou phillips (shorter and uber plain), bai ling (can someone tell this girl to not booty shake on the dance floor? it made no sense... she wasn't even grinding up on to someone) and mike watt (who was too cool for that lame party...as in, we literally think mike watt was light years cooler than everyone else there who basically looked like back up dancers). but hey, thanks for the free booze!

· 3/13: John C. Reilly and singer Peaches skating hand in hand at the the Moonlight Roller Rink in Glendale. She was wearing a leotard replete with ruffles and sparkles and he looked like a dad in light cargo pants and a short-sleeved plaid shirt. Quite a sight, that. Later on he was sort of skate-dancing alone to "PYT" by Michael Jackson, halfheartedly mouthing the lyrics and looking rather content. It was all very Paul Thomas Anderson. I thought it would be funny to get next to him, fall on purpose and bring him down with me, but it was crowded and I don't have health insurance, so I didn't do it after all. But next time, maybe.

· two sightings

on tuesday 3/14, i saw elisha cuthbert at terminal 2 of lax. I spotted the back of a petite blonde girl at the newsstand and she looked like a typical trendy LA chick wearing a loose black top, black leggings and white cowboy boots. her shoulder length hair was a shade of blonde that was probably not created by nature. then i saw her leaving the starbucks and realized it was "kim bauer"

on friday 3/17, i saw michael goorjian from party of five sitting on a couch at the grove's barnes & noble. his hair was mussed and he looked really tired. he was looking at something on his apple laptop. he was wearing a brown corduroy jacket and jeans.

· Dragged my sorry behind to the Kitsch Fest Grand Gala Premiere of "Adam & Steve" at the Cinerama Dome (no, not the cool dome room, sigh, an adjunct room) and laughed and groaned next to ex-supermodel Ann Turkel (perfect nails. Perfect. Thought she was Amanda Lapore at first) sitting next to galpal Nikki "Starcaps" Haskell. Behind me was Parker Posey, in—natch a vintage thing, (she RULES in the flick, BTW) who spent a goodly portion of the film maniacally removing every speck of spilled popcorn off her seat. Bruce "Fat Again" Villanche peed next to me in the men's and I wanted to peak just because but didn't wanna encourage, well, you know...John C. Reilly was hanging about quietly, Chris Kattan was hanging about loudly and Sally Kirkand brought her pal Vincent DePaul (no 'Saint' he...stop me with the quotes and parenthesis, already!) Oh, yeah that Bentley whoevah brother was there in dapper bowler and such, sat next to Nikki and harhar-ed through the whole film...ANNOYING! Hey, since this was a premiere, does any of this star spotting shiz really count? Let me know so I won't bore you at the next event with my ramblings...

· On Monday, March 20th, saw Apolo Ohno and a short, pretty woman (his girlfriend?) at The Coffee Bean on Sunset Boulevard. I was just walking out to the parking lot with a group of friends as he was walking backwards toward us, facing the woman, talking and laughing. He almost ran into my friend before the woman told him to watch out. They looked happy and cute together, but he's reallllly short!! Wore a nice leather jacket though.

· 3/16: I had a great sighting of Constantine Maroulis (you know, Bo Bice s inferior from last years American Idol) at the Cingular store on Beverly near the Beverly Center just three hours ago. As you may or may not know, that Cingular store makes you sign in when you walk through the door and wait for someone to call your name. I was in the process of waiting for my name to be called when a guy walked in that looked just like Constantine. He had the long, unwashed brown hair, was carefully unshaven and was wearing those big rocker sunglasses. Of course, that describes about half the guys in LA. He looked so much like Constantine that I figured it couldn t possibly be him, so I ignored him. Well, he didn t sign in. He just went and got behind someone else in line. After standing there and looking like a kick ass rocker for about 5 minutes, the Cingular Guy (who was still working with a customer) asks Rocker Guy, Can I help you, sir? After wiping the dumb look off his face, Rocker Guy retorts, I m waiting for help, incredulous at the question. And the Cingular Guy patiently, without attitude, said, Oh, you need to sign in at the front and we ll call you. Well, Rocker Guy looked like someone told him to go fuck himself in Chinese (you know, confused and angry at the same time). He says, What?! The Cingular Guy repeats himself. Sign in at the front door and we ll call your name. Now Rocker Guy just looks perplexed (maybe if he took his sunglasses off inside he d be able to see and comprehend things better). Rocker Guy: What else did you say? Cingular Guy: Nothing, sir. Now, I m ten feet away. The guy didn t say anything besides the above and was not being snide or snarky. Instead, he was trying to be helpful. Well, Rocker Guy loses it. He points at Cingular Guy, over the customer being helped and says, Don t you fucking condescend to me! You re the one that fucking works at Cingular! No exaggeration. And he says condescend just like Brad Pitt did in True Romance with like three extra vowels and two extra n s. It was hilarious and everyone in the store saw it. Of course, after that craziness, you expect him to storm out. But, no! He goes and signs his name and waits. I figured he would have been tossed for dropping the F-bomb alone, but no one says or does anything. I just tried not to crack up. After the outburst, though, I m positive it s not Constantine. No one remotely in the public eye would make that much as of an ass of himself over something so stupid. Not two minutes later, though, Rocker Guy takes off his sunglasses and reveals himself to be, yes, THE Constantine.

· Thursday, March 16, the Roxy. Radha Mitchell and her very metro-looking Aussie beau watching Spacifix (a New Zealand band). She sat on his lap ventriloquist-style for most of the show but seemed really into the music. After the set, she and Aussie-boy went up to On The Rox and hung out with the band for a few minutes. She's really small; kind of like a female Frodo, but much, much prettier. She's got great skin, the glowy kind that all the girls have these days.

· Saw Eric Idle (of Monty Python fame) spending a very low-key St. Paddy's evening at the Geffen Playhouse watching Mamet's Boston Marriage. He was sitting on a bench during intermission, talking to a middle-aged blond woman. Neither looked too excited. Couldn't get close enough to overhear any conversation, but I like to think they were coming to the conclusion that David Mamet is a hack. Must say, Eric didn't seem very much in the spirit of the holiday - he was not wearing any green and no alcohol in sight. For shame. (A surprise cameo by a drunken and slurring Not-Quite-So-Brave Sir Robin would have made the play a much more enjoyable experience.)

· Friday 3/17 I have just turned in from a "star" studded evening. Went to a Gen Art fashion show at the Park Plaza near McArthur Park and saw Lisa Loeb, Anthony Kiedis (who I might add is shorter than I am and I'm 5' 4" plus heels... I was towering over him) and GFY's poster-girl Bai Ling. When I saw her I squealed with excitement, she's just as trashy and weird in person! And the last Gen Art sighting was Lacy Chabert looking as mediocre in person as on screen, which by the way in her case the camera subtracts ten pounds. Later at Vine Bar saw Kelly Osbourne and she's not fat! Why does everyone call her fat? She looked awesome and she's gorgeous, well dressed and has really cute hair.

· Eugene Levy having brunch with a surgically tweaked blonde at Terry's in the Palisades Village on Monday morning. He actually looked somewhat dapper in person—houndstooth blazer, white button-down, jeans. Not quite so touchingly awkward in real life. Actually stepped OUTSIDE to take a cell phone call (lovely, polite man), but that left his blondie inside by herself for the greater part of 30 minutes. She didn't look amused. Who knew that Jim's Dad was remotely smooth?

· Saturday the 18th, around 9 a.m. at the Starbucks near off Cauhenga near the 101... My friend and I were walking into Starbucks when a disheveled blond woman pushed her way out, but then apologized. At first glance, it looked like Goldie Hawn, circa early 1990's, but then we realized it was Jennifer Coolidge. MUCH smaller than expected and obviously nice.

· Joey McIntyre from New Kids on the Block, script in hand at the Standard in West Hollywood.

· On Saturday 3/18 in the evening, saw Forest Whitaker at the North Hollywood Target. He was looking slimmer than you'd expect. This means either that the North Hollywood Target is more high brow than you'd expect or that Forest Whitaker, post-hosting the Twilight Zone, is even more low brow than you'd think.

· monday 03/20 at the american airlines terminal at lax... cynthia watros ("libby" the blonde shrink from "lost," who might be soon dating funny fatguy "hurley") waiting in the first class security screening with two young girls, maybe twins.. (her daughters?) she looked younger, fitter and certainly more attractive than her widely-circulated DWI mugshot from hawaii.. i didn't smell any booze on her myself... aloha!

· Emilie de Ravin at the Corner Bakery at the Grove, today, 3/23. She was with a tall skinny guy (maybe her boyfriend? I know they live here in LA) and a guy in a wheelchair. She is teeny tiny with flawless skin.

· It seems that my nail salon is the hang out for semi-famous, instantly recognizable TV/movie stars.

First Robert Sean Leonard, now Louis Lombardi. I admit - had to go to IMDB for the name, but I at once knew it was Agent Skip from Sopranos and recently deceased Edgar Stiles from 24. He has a very pleasant smile.

Can I mention that Catherine Keener also gets her nails done there? Haven't had a recent sighting; the last time was after 40-Year Old Virgin but before Capote. After she left ("I gotta go pick up my kid") several of the women commented how much they loved her; little did we realize there was a future Oscar nominee drying her OPI Red in our midst.

· 3/18/06 Saw that guy from Gilmore Girls, Milo Ventimiglia (very short and surprisingly very good looking in person) with an also very short and very good looking blonde tonight having dinner at Via Venetto in Santa Monica. I think he is so much hotter than Adam Brody. They were both drinking sodas... who goes to a restaurant with a killer wine list and drinks diet coke?? They looked very cozy. I am a closet Gilmore Girls fan and was instantly struck by the fact that Milo's real life girlfriend (Rory Gilmore herself, one Alexis Bledel) was nowhere in sight. I was even more surprised to learn upon asking the very friendly waitstaff that Milo's blonde company was herself a regular at the restaurant and also an actress on some fox show Ive never heard of. Hmmm... trouble in B list tv paradise?

· Saturday, I was enjoying a night with my ladies at the bowling alley on Pico and 4th in Santa Monica, and we were joined by The Ladies Man himself, Tim Meadows, who was there for a birthday party. Like every celebrity in the world, he's shorter than I would have guessed, but he's also much more handsome in person and looked sharp in a pressed white shirt. I would have let him buy me a Courvoisier, but my bowling sucks even without alcohol. Also, he did not offer.

· Day after St. Patrick's Day, up-until-four-AM hangover notwithstanding, I needed to run some errands at my local Sav-On. Whom should I see in the aisles, but Rob McElhenney from FX show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He took his time picking out (I think) deodorant. Not sure if he really qualifies as "star" material, but hell, I recognized him and I've only seen him in the ads while watching Rescue Me. Oh, and he is completely adorable and handsome, if slightly disheveled.


· At the Grove movie theater, saw surprisingly handsome Joel McHale (from The Soup) wearing a sideways baseball cap and playing with a little kid. Really adorable.

· I saw Sarah Shahi (from Showtime`s L Word and NBC Teachers) walking out of Urth Caffe today Thursday March 22 , holding hands with a girl while walking 2 little dogs.

· Plugging the parking meter on South Beverly Drive in the 90212 yesterday and I see convicted pederast Jeffrey Jones stumbling his way down the sidewalk. Ed Rooney was kickin it in the always "in" blue Adidas warm ups and the navy blue sportcoat. He looked a few days removed from a shower, hairbrush, razor and sobriety. Walked right through the heart of BH agent-land and even passed a few assistant and young turk types who didnt even do a double take. Damn it must feel good to be a gangster.

· Do VH1 Best Week Ever commentators rank a privacywatch note? Probably not, it's embarassing to think we'd be counting 2nd-order simulacra celebrities. I don't even know their names. Anyway, on Beverly Dr. in Beverly Hills, walking past Williams-Sonoma. (okay, quick web check shows it was Michael Colton and John Aboud - who I guess earn actual points for Modern Humorist).