Wilmer Valderrama Lets Howard Stern's Listeners In On A Big Secret

We think it's his voice—Howard Stern's rich, bassy monotone—that lulls his guests into a hypnotic state in which they gladly share way too much. Then again, maybe when Wilmer Valderrama went on yesterday's show and talked openly about, among other things, taking Mandy Moore's virginity and the exact measurements of the thing he took it with, he wasn't aware that the big foam thing he was speaking into had the magical ability to send those words to millions of Sirius subscribers. Here is a partial recap of the interview from HowardStern.com:

When Wilmer claimed that he took Mandy’s virginity, Howard wondered if sex with her was difficult at first. Wilmer told Howard that the sex was “really good” with Mandy, but also acknowledged that it wasn’t “like warm apple pie.” [...]

Howard said that he had a list of women with whom Wilmer allegedly has had sex and wanted his thoughts on each of them. The first name Howard mentioned was Jennifer Love Hewitt, who Wilmer replied “was an eight.” [...]

Because of the number of A-Listers on Wilmer’s list of sexual partners, Howard asked him if he’s well-endowed. Wilmer responded that he’s “been blessed” in that department, before saying that his penis is more than eight inches long.

And here we were accepting at face value that Valderrama ascended to the King of A-list Poontang throne by remaining "grounded and grateful for his success." Little did we realize the success he was so humbly referring to had nothing to do with his career, and everything to do with the blushed whispers shared between Hollywood starlets about the oversized dimensions of his Venezuelan man-trophy.