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"How geeky are you," asks Newsweek, ruining a perfectly good cover story with an awkward quiz. Bad enough that half of it is desert-island questions; even worse that the "desert-island book" options don't include the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

But the real problem: what does this quiz have to do with Newsweek's "Putting the 'We' in Web" cover story? If someone can honestly answer "What browser do you use?" with "What's a browser," they have no business taking a web quiz anyway. So here's the real quiz — user-generated, if you will — that Newsweek should have run.

1. How many times did you check in on Dodgeball last week? Take a half-point for each.

2. Take a point for each social-network site where you have a profile:
- MySpace
- Facebook
- LinkedIn
- Yahoo 360
- 43 People
- Consumating (two points, you damn hipster)
- Friendster (extra point if you deleted it in protest)
- Dogster or Catster
- Tribe
- Orkut (on second thought, subtract a point)

3. Take two points for each community site you're on:
- Upcoming
- Flickr
- YouTube
- Buzznet
- Odeo
- Digg
- Metafilter

After the jump, finish the quiz (or get offline and, I don't know, play baseball, or whatever you non-web people do).

How geeky are you? [Newsweek]

4. Who cares how many friends you think you have? Add a tenth-point for every Flickr user who counts you as a contact.

5. Take a point for each blog post you made today.

6. Open your feed reader; divide your unread items by 100 and round off. Add those points, dude.

7. Grab five points for every private beta you're in.

8. Do you have Flickr clusters? Take a point for each one. One bonus point if you have a preferred Flickr tag other than your full name.

9. Own your own dot-com? Five points. Dot-org? Six points.

10. And if you've registered a joke site (, anyone?), grab five more points.

11. Four points for every place you own on Plazes.

12. Three points if you've been tagged on Riya.

13. One point for every thing you bought, sold, or fucked through Craigslist.

Now add those points up, divide by your Google employee number, and figure out where you fall:

0-9: Look, since you're not actually doing anything, Valleywag's looking for a writer...
10-19: So you have a few old Fakester accounts, and you lurk in Casual Encounters. Either get a life, or give up and dive in.
20-29: Well aren't you special, Ms. Didn't-drink-the-Kool-Aid.
30-39: Okay, count your dot-net and that'll put you over 40.
40-49: Good job. Now stop reading blogs and call that hottie from Consumating.
50-59: Can danah boyd please touch you?
60+: Mena Trott, get the hell out of my quiz.