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Early this morning, a panicked reader e-mailed to ask us what happened to the Hottest Hollywood Assistants site, which has been replaced by a splash page announcing that their web account has been suspended, worried that her ability to assign comically low numerical ratings to the industry's indentured chore whores might have been compromised by a conspiracy of high-level agents. Fret not, children, as the site's evil masterminds have assured us they've merely blown through their monthly bandwidth allowance, are currently "changing servers," and should be back online later today. There's no foul play involved, unless you want to count the fake profile of the harness-adorned "assistant" fucking a tailpipe that recently appeared on the site.