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A couple of thoughts immediately crossed our minds upon viewing Us Weekly's completely convincing, obviously not staged photos of American Idol spokesmodel Ryan Seacrest and profoundly desperate Housewife Teri Hatcher:

· Teri Hatcher's troubled past is obviously playing a prominent role in her choice of unavailable men;

· If Seacrest's mouth were clenched any tighter (warning: link not safe for sanity), he'd probably shatter all of his teeth en route to swallowing his entire chin.

Special Bonus Section! We can't guarantee that the following PrivacyWatch sighting isn't somehow involved in the above publicity ploy, but someone sent in an account of the odd couple's visit to Malibu a couple of days ago that seemed a little suspicious even before the photos surfaced:

I saw Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher eating a big ass lobster and drinking champagne at popular biker stop "Neptune's Net" on Saturday (3-25-06). I couldn't really tell if they were on a date, but both seemed to be having a good time. There was lots of touching and laughing going on. It was nice to see two celebrities hanging out at a dive restaurant and not acting pretentious at all. They were very friendly to everyone who noticed them and they didn't try to hide their identities at all. Even the two hardcore bikers with long beards who looked that they hadn't showered in months recognized them.

The best was when Seacrest came out with the food looking for a place to sit. At first their were no seats available so some random dude offered to share his seat with Seacrest. Seacrest was confused if the man was getting up, but once he realized that the guy wanted to dine with him and Teri he politely declined the invitation.

A biker bar? Apparently, someone on Seacrest's PR team vetoed a meal at Mr. Confirmed Heterosexual's Steak House And Brewery as too transparent.