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Only three days to Apple's 30th birthday. Year 20 was celebrated with a limited-edition special edition Mac (a 250 MHz speed demon for just $7500!). But back then, Steve was on his forced hiatus, and no one believes he'd let Apple pull that shit again. So what'll it be this year?

Nine least likely 30th anniversary Apple surprises

9. John C. Dvorak named product strategist
8. Steve and his Oracle pal Larry Ellison go hunting; Larry shoots Steve in the face
7. The iPhone Shuffle: hit a button, call a random number
6. iTunes for Linux
5. Solid gold 30th anniversary Mac: you can't use it, but it sure looks posh
4. A Jobs-branded fashion line, with the ad slogan: "Here's to the pretty ones."
3. Apple Newton starts shipping again. Not with any upgrades, it just starts shipping again
2. Apple buys Disney, Mickey Mouse mascot replaced with Jonathan Ive
1. Steve wears a bowtie again — over his turtleneck

Apple: birthday surprises on April Fools? [MacNN]