So Does This Mean George Clooney Won't Marry Us?

Page Six reports today that non-blogging actor George Clooney has taken action to destroy Gawker Stalker — ohmahgah he knows we exist! In an email sent by his publicist Stan Rosenfield to other entertainment flacks, "George" writes:

There is a simple way to render these guys useless. Flood their Web site with bogus sightings. Get your clients to get 10 friends to text in fake sightings of any number of stars. A couple hundred conflicting sightings and this Web site is worthless. No need to try to create new laws to restrict free speech. Just make them useless. That's the fun of it. And then sit back and enjoy the ride. Thanks, George.

Considering "George Clooney does not make statements, he answers questions," we've a hard time believing that this missive came from the keyboard of Clooney himself. But, then again, he's declared that "If I say I've written something, I've written it." So maybe he did. In which case: So excited. If there's anyone to take us down, throw us around, and render us useless, it's him. Seriously, we've been fantasizing about that shit since ER.

Oh, and this just in, from a tipster: "Last night, 1 AM, saw George Clooney in a gang bang at The Eagle. He looked sweaty and was bleating like a sheep."

Clooney: Sabotage Gawker! [Page Six]