End Of Days Nears As Ratner-Lohan Rumors Surface

God's Random Gossip Generator has produced its arguably greatest, most mind-melting work, as Fox 411's Roger Friedman reports that fauxteur-about-town Brett Ratner has been seen hanging around with starlet-passed-out-in-the-bathroom-stall Lindsay Lohan, both at the Chateau Marmont and at Ratner's swingin', grandparent-chaparoned bachelor pad:

They've been seen together in various modes of dining and socializing in the lobby bar and garden restaurant, according to my Hollywood spies. Of course, Lohan been seen with lots of famous types at the Chateau, my sources point out.

I am told that Lindsay and several female buddies have also spent time at Ratner's Hillhaven Lodge, formerly the home of Ingrid Bergman. Why not? The preceding owner, "Grease" producer Alan Carr, left behind a full-size disco with mirrored walls and a silver disco ball.

But, as Ratner likes to say, it's more about schmoozing and dessert than anything particularly weird. Ratner's grandparents live in the guest house, which is hard by the front door. The grandmother is in and out of the main house kitchen, sort of like a sitcom, and there are non-stop visitors. It's hard to get away with anything secret at Hillhaven. [...]

Ratner, who's said to be giving Lohan advice and providing a shelter to her from the gossip storm, is a little too busy to do anything else right now. He's finishing "X Men: The Last Stand," which will debut in Cannes a few days before its May 26 opening in theaters.

Whew, that was a close one. We're really not in a place where we're prepared to start pondering something "weird," like Ratner, septuagenarian best buddy Robert Evans, and Evans' trusty butler English staging a 70s-throwback orgy with Lindsay and her pals underneath the multicolored light scattered by that disco ball. Nope, we couldn't possibly handle that, so we'll go right on thinking that this is nothing more than the typical sexless, mentor/mentee relationship that Hollywood is so famous for.